i’ve been back in america for nearly three months now.

seeing what life is like here was shocking, and i’m glad that i forced myself to live differently for a year. and also, i knew that i wouldn’t be able to live the guilt down that i’d quit early. that there were things that i had missed out on for comfort’s sake.

i’m glad. and also sad.

now i’m in new mexico, in the house i grew up in as an adolescent. my mother has been living by herself in this big adobe castle on the mountain. which also makes me sad. i wish i could keep her company. but i feel like i’m only now regaining myself.

i’m certain there are a few things that i learned, music-wise, in padang panjang. but maybe it’s one of those “i’m going to realize that thing WAY later” sorts of things. haha, i kind of doubt it. but i’m always open to surprises.

there’s a practice that i’m trying to get myself into, which is writing in my physical journal before i do internet stuff. but there was a resume i had to send off, so i decided to split the difference and briefly write a bit in the physical journal and then address this neglected blog.

i want my days to have content and truth in a way that couldn’t have been possible if i’d never gone anywhere for a year. i definitely have a new reverence for privacy.

ok, time to run around in the foothills of the mountain.

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